Monday, March 24, 2014

Well, enough of the temper tantrum, right?

Oh good grief. Why did you all let me get away with that previous post? (facepalms) I can't believe that I let things still get to me like that. Wow...

So, here we are... I'm much better than that last post. I'm glad I posted it though... and I will be leaving it up. It will be a reminder on how much of a goofball I really am haha. 

I wonder if that means, that I've grown a little? To be able to not dwell on it and to move move forward.. To forget, can be a tricky thing... especially depending on the issue that you're wanting to forget. Forgiveness however... is easier and makes things easier to go on... at times. 

(shrugs) Hey, I'll figure it all out eventually. I'm sure others feel the same. I'm to the point now about the previous post, that I really shouldn't care about any of that anymore. It's not going to get me anywhere, but make it harder for me to get on with my life. And I have enough to deal with in my life just living. Which I'm still working on lol. :)

Life is good. Interesting as always, but good. There will always be bumps in the road of some kind. One way or another, we learn from them. Some say that..what doesn't kill us, makes us stronger. Well, I seriously ought to be HUGE, GREEN and with the temper of C4. ;) But anyway...

I just wanted to say, that if something is going on in your life or is truly getting the best of you, hold will pass. This too, shall pass... it's something that I live by. I think it's why I keep going. Some have asked why haven't I just thrown in the towel already? I just take my towel, use it to dust myself off... and go on. :) 

You should too. So, hold on... stay moving forward.. this too, shall pass.

Wednesday, March 19, 2014



So very tired... 
Of lots of things...

Most of all... of feeling that I've failed. This post is more for me than anyone else. Since I can't seem to talk to anyone without screwing that up...or whatever the case, then this will have to do. :(

I am so frickin tired of things...

Of caring...about things...people... wish my heart wasn't like it was at times.. 
Wish I wasn't so naive...
Wish I could just run away...from everyone and everything and start anew...
Wish I hadn't been sick for so long that I could have accomplished what I wanted to do.
Wish...a lot of things. 

Now, please don't think that this is a pity party that I'm throwing. It's really not. I'm just tired.
Tired of feeling like I'm by myself. I know I'm not... but the past few years.. 
I am tired of fighting... I'm afraid of letting go... of the consequences that would follow...
I'm afraid of actually trying to reach for the goals I have... because I'm not sure it would be worth it in the end. 

I'm just tired... of being tired. Of just.. ugh. Of being me. 

Does any of this make sense? I think I'm just having a moment of downward spiral. They're rare than they used to be... what brought this one up, however was me trying to fix something that I should have left alone...for good. *sighs* I'm done. I'm done with that and forgetting it all and starting anew. 

It was sadness and broken hearted... now it's irritation and other things.. ugh. 

I just need to get away... just for a bit....and I can't even do that. :( 

This post might not last long... I know it doesn't even make any sense and I doubt seriously anyone would read it or care for that matter... (shrugs)

I've given everything to God... as I do. I do feel better... but wanted to write this out once and for all. This might stay so I have a reminder of what I SHOULDN'T be doing. Meh.

Anyway.. thank you for reading and showing interest. Have a beautiful and wonderful blessed day. 

I know, in the end... I will, too.

Sunday, March 9, 2014

Starting Over

     Yep... that's the whole point of this blog. This will be the start of something new. Something interesting. Something that makes YOU, as the reader, happy to be here. :) (at least, that's what I will try and accomplish haha)

     The real reason I'm here though, is due to a friend of mine. Now, my friend, is a pretty awesome guy. I've known him for a really long time and he's always been so helpful to my hubby and I. He's a great blogger and he's really becoming a fantastic nature photographer. You should seriously see his work. In fact, here's a link to his blog, so you get the idea: Thoughts from a tenderhearted knight-errant

     Ok, so I see you've made it back to me to finish reading my ramblings for today. ;) I'm not sure how long this will go on...or even if this will work, but... maybe it's something I need to do. I used to write in my diary/journal all the time and it worked for me. Putting my thoughts on a blog, however... Yeah, not so sure about that. We'll see in due time, I'm sure. 

     So, the reason as I was saying, was due to my friend. I've been dealing with some things lately, and stressing out over the stupidest things, too. Such as my first showcase, where I showed my work for the first person. :O It went pretty well and I made new friends because of it. Will I do it again? Absolutely! April 17th will be here soon enough. Although, there are things that still bug me about the whole ordeal...again, things which I have no control over of course and I know that once I give it to God, I don't think about it, much less worry about it anymore. And so I do. 

    I keep meaning to actually tell you why I'm here haha. It's because of him to be honest. I'm giving this another try. If he can do can I. 

    I tend to really cherish the friendships I have with other people. I have realized, along the way of growing up, that I truly don't have as many as I thought. For awhile I thought it was me. Something I've done, or because I never got involved with the crap going on around me. (shrugs) I'm not really sure and I am so done with trying to figure out things like that. So, starting over sounds good. 

     It's more about the past couple of days that I just had with a wonderful room of awesome ladies at church. We just finished our day and a half of our Women's Conference: Undone. It was amazing, wonderful, awe-inspiring...and a definite eye opener. There are so many things I could say about that conference here and what it means...but that's a whole other blog for just itself and even then.. I'm not ready to be THAT open about things, either lol. 

    As you can tell by now, I'm not as organized as I'd like to be with my blog..yet. I'm kind of all over the place right now. Bare with me as I figure things out again lol. 

    So, I will leave it as is for now... after all... I AM ME and I'm perfectly fine with that. If my blog chooses to be however because of me... *a rambling mess*, so be it. :P 

    Thank you for taking the time to read/look/explore and enjoy. -Jen-