Wednesday, March 19, 2014
**WARNING!!! RANT/VENT COMING!!**
So very tired...
Of lots of things...
Most of all... of feeling that I've failed. This post is more for me than anyone else. Since I can't seem to talk to anyone without screwing that up...or whatever the case, then this will have to do. :(
I am so frickin tired of things...
Of caring...about things...people... wish my heart wasn't like it was at times..
Wish I wasn't so naive...
Wish I could just run away...from everyone and everything and start anew...
Wish I hadn't been sick for so long that I could have accomplished what I wanted to do.
Wish...a lot of things.
Now, please don't think that this is a pity party that I'm throwing. It's really not. I'm just tired.
Tired of feeling like I'm by myself. I know I'm not... but the past few years..
I am tired of fighting... I'm afraid of letting go... of the consequences that would follow...
I'm afraid of actually trying to reach for the goals I have... because I'm not sure it would be worth it in the end.
I'm just tired... of being tired. Of just.. ugh. Of being me.
Does any of this make sense? I think I'm just having a moment of downward spiral. They're rare than they used to be... what brought this one up, however was me trying to fix something that I should have left alone...for good. *sighs* I'm done. I'm done with that and forgetting it all and starting anew.
It was sadness and broken hearted... now it's irritation and other things.. ugh.
I just need to get away... just for a bit....and I can't even do that. :(
This post might not last long... I know it doesn't even make any sense and I doubt seriously anyone would read it or care for that matter... (shrugs)
I've given everything to God... as I do. I do feel better... but wanted to write this out once and for all. This might stay so I have a reminder of what I SHOULDN'T be doing. Meh.
Anyway.. thank you for reading and showing interest. Have a beautiful and wonderful blessed day.
I know, in the end... I will, too.